Hey y’all. I apologize for the delay in posting. I’ve been getting my life together for real. Since my last post, I’ve finally graduated with my bachelors degree and have taken the summer for a much needed break.
During this time, word to Kylie Jenner, I’ve been realizing a lot of things. Coming to terms with who I am and imagining the endless possibilities of who I could be.
I wonder if every person has the conundrum where they could do anything, be anyone. There are so many paths to walk down, that I’ve been having a hard time committing to one. The Lord has shown me that I haven’t truly decided. Yes, my mind and heart may be persuaded but I was continuing to walk in another way. He has been more than gracious yet firm with me; letting me know that two things cannot be true at once. Either I’m dedicated to His cause or not.
I’m proud to say, today I am sure. I know the way in which I will walk. I am assuring myself, not of the ease of this path, but the assurance of its direction. Truly denying myself and taking up my cross will take all of my effort. It will command my schedule. Dictate my activities. Continually allowing my life to be sifted by the Lord. Truly seeing Him as Lord. Ruler.
As a young girl, I was always drawn to the song “Goodbye to Me” by David Robertson. I wasn’t sure why, I just knew that I loved when my mom played it as it resonated with me. I know why. It’s because I’m called to it.
Help me cast down
Goodbye to Me, David Robertson
Every idol that I’ve built
Lord, and lay them all
Where Calvary’s blood was spilt
There where You sacrificed
Yourself for me
And now it’s my turn, Lord
To die for Thee
I’ve been resentful of the call on my life, of being called to fully strip myself of any trace of the identity I’ve so carefully crafted. I have stock in me, you know? I have studied and grafted in elements to which I believed would serve me best. But that’s not the call on my life. I’m called to abandon myself for Him.
I’m grateful for all the good things in my life, the opportunities to flourish and grow. I’m determined to live the best life afforded to me. To laugh louder, love harder and have a larger impact on my community. I’m excited to do it all in the Name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.